officialunitedstates:

lifeguards are nice but they only save you when you’re in the water.  where were you when I was starving in the arizona desert?  you certainly werent saving lives then now were you

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

safaribrowser:

get your game ondrive safe

safaribrowser:

get your game on
drive safe

(Source: communistbakery)

armadillo:

when you accidentally say something you werent meant to

image

waywardchappy:

I always read FAQ as fack and I don’t plan on changing this

(Source: wizardick)

gold-skies:

shout out to zac efron for never pursuing a singing career after he left disney

zachsgay:

zachsgay:

i need a 1k selfie before i die

image

blackromney:

im too cool for school, so cool, im frozen. ive been stuck in this glacier for thousands of years, please help me