amoying:

looking out for your significant other like

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lydiaamartin:

*applies for architecture job*

experience: building houses on the sims since 2001

(Source: underdosing)

stinkyhat:

"well SOME cops are good"

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hellacatholic:

"mr. president why is ur hand on the launch nukes button"
“it’s a metaphor”

officialunitedstates:

been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.  to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

(Source: howunpleasant-moved)

ermathursty:

saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa

ermathursty:

saw this tip jar at my Dairy Queen today and lost it at tipiosa

hi:

seeing your friends when you’re with a really cute person

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