mountainsandmochas:

one of my favorite ron swanson lines

(Source: allthingspawnee)

gaymish:

I CANNOT WITH THIS

" If I have to ask for your attention, then I don’t even want it. "

- Unknown (via ugh)

(Source: always-arousedxxx)

bombing:

wigglethatbutt:

bombing:

just had a dream where someone stole my socks and framed me for murder using the dna on them

i dreamt i stole someones socks omg

i’m calling the police

" I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that a giraffe’s heart weighs 22 pounds and that somebody once told me when flies fall in love, their entire brain is rewired to only know loving each other. When one of them dies, their memory becomes blank. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about waking up next to you during a windstorm at 5 am. "

- (via discomforted)

blacksquares:

for my entire life i wondered why a dragonfly has an ass thats like 8 times as long as their body and tonight i finally felt compelled to investigate and as it turns out dragonflies breath thru their ass and can shoot water out of their butt hole to make them fly faster…….so…… i really did not expect that to be the answer but there it is

me and xkit guy bf

meatbicyclevevo:

me: bby ur hands r so cold

bf: there i fixed it